It has come to our attention that there is a non-player among our readers, and we’ll find you

Since its founding in 1947, Onion Gamers Network has built a relationship of trust with our readers. The past years have brought countless changes, but none have changed the simple principle at the core of our journalistic work: Our journalists have stopped at nothing to report the latest industry news and peaks, and in return, we have asked our readers to stay fierce. Dedicated to the cause of gaming glory. However, this relationship has changed in recent days, as an undercover informant unfortunately informs us that there is a non-player within our readers.

We take these matters very seriously, let us be frank: whoever you are, we will find you, and you will be dealt with.

It would be a waste of your time and our time to mention what outright betrayal this news was. Still thinking about the hours we spent revealing the latest PS5 rumors and Red Death Easter eggs, asking for nothing in return, all while a non-believer lurked among our audience, flicking from page to page with their filthy casual hands, hiding in the shadows like cowards they were.

Rest assured, they won’t hide anymore. And if we find out that any of you knew about this heretic and said nothing, or worse, actively encouraged his campaign to sabotage the games, you will be found out, too. Punishment of these traitors to our cause will be merciless and swift.

Maybe it was our fault. Maybe we were too nice. Very tolerant. By bidding with our infinite aura Hands-on impressions and GTA trilogy Error assemblies, it is possible that we were asking to take advantage of them. We should have known that you are not our friends, just clients. It’s a lesson we’ve learned very well and we won’t tolerate too much in the future.

But what is even more disgusting is that this utopia that we created has been corrupted forever. why? Because it is built on trust. Trust that each of you cares about Soulsborne Genre, refers to Kingdom Hearts The series will not be lost on you, and that the innumerable loss that came from the cancellation silent hills It will record in all your eyes when we mentioned PT Confidence used to be an important word in this business. But knowing there’s a stranger among us sets that word on fire. We will not trust anymore. We will only seek and destroy.

Simply put, we were fools forever putting our faith in you. Any consequences from now on – whether it’s the torture and death of non-players or collateral damage to the real players that get in our way – rests entirely with you. You betrayed us and nothing will be the same. Unfortunately, that’s how it should be. And if you’re reading this, anyone who isn’t a player, whoever you are, you should stress yourself out.

You have awakened a sleeping giant.

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