Self-deprecating comments are really harmful


Everyone else is already insulting you, the last thing you need is to join your mind. Here are several self-critical comments that are actually harmful.

“I am a dating disaster!”

“I am a dating disaster!”

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Don’t dwell on this negative void when you likely haven’t found someone who appreciates all of your ugly qualities.

“I have such a strange looking body.”

“I have such a strange looking body.”

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Great, now everyone has to admit it and lie until you feel better.

“I’m 5ft 6”

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Don’t be hard on yourself, you are at least 5ft-7.

“I had one chance to assassinate President Reagan, and I absolutely blew it.”

“I had one chance to assassinate President Reagan, and I absolutely blew it.”

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Hey, hey, hey, you might rephrase that as a little short but beyond anyone else.

“I’m a fifth-round pick at best.”

“I’m a fifth-round pick at best.”

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Speaking this way in front of the microphone may hurt your chances of being drafted at all.

“But I don’t know anything about defusing bombs.”

“But I don’t know anything about defusing bombs.”

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Not now, focus!

“I’m just a worthless filth, no one will care if I live or die.”

“I’m just a worthless filth, no one will care if I live or die.”

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Even a funny joke like this has a cry for help buried deep under the surface.

“I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.”

“I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.”

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Isn’t that realization you could have come to before we put a deposit in place and book a photographer?

“I’m so clumsy, I stumbled up the stairs to accept the Academy Award!”

“I’m so clumsy, I stumbled up the stairs to accept the Academy Award!”

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talkative – brag.

“People, this was just a coincidence, I swear I usually suck at this.”

“People, this was just a coincidence, I swear I usually suck at this.”

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Humility is all well and good, but people want to feel confident in their pilot’s abilities.

“I deserve to be flattened under a low-flying balloon.”

“I deserve to be flattened under a low-flying balloon.”

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It would be even more harmful if I said it over hearing a balloon pilot.

“It’s too late for me to accomplish anything really great in my life.”

“It’s too late for me to accomplish anything really great in my life.”

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Many people made their biggest contributions later in their lives, So don’t give up! Unless you are over 35 years old or something.

“I am sorry for the havoc my army has wreaked on your country.”

“I am sorry for the havoc my army has wreaked on your country.”

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Show some damned pride, Pinko. US #1!

“I’m not good enough to eat my grandmother’s pierogi.”

“I’m not good enough to eat my grandmother’s pierogi.”

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Seriously, I made them just for you and you’re just going to let them get lost like that?

“No way, your Subway costume looks better than my ballet dress.”

“No way, your Subway costume looks better than my ballet dress.”

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It was malicious enough to walk into a Subway sandwich shop after the black tie event, but that’s just a step too far.

“In general, I think things are going well.”

“In general, I think things are going well.”

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They are going great, you stupid stupid shit.

“I’m not good enough to read The Onion.”

“I’m not good enough to read The Onion.”

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Hey now, you’ve almost come to the end of your slideshow.

“Don’t worry, I hate myself too.”

“Don’t worry, I hate myself too.”

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The word “hate” may not fully express the depths in which someone else hates you.



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